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Attention K-Mart Shoppers

February 3, 2012
By

 

I’m sorry but how many rings does Kenyon Martin have again?…that’s right, none. He made it to the NBA Finals twice as young high-flyer catching Jason Kidd lobs in New Jersey. I understand all the attention Martin’s getting as he chooses which contender to join, it’s the new Twitter Free Agency Era…..but Kenyon is hardly the type of player that will propel your team to championship heights. After leaving China a few months ago, he’s as liable to blow out a knee (again) as he is to help you blow out an opposing team. Let’s look at the main suitors and see why they shouldn’t be all that excited…

 

Atlanta Hawks

The Hawks met with K-Mart the other day and offered him a veteran minimum deal…great call by GM Rick Sund. I wouldn’t break the bank for a guy who was Josh Smith ten years ago. He’d be a good pick-up for this amount of money, but it’s not going to happen. Kenyon wants to recoup some of the cash he lost bouncin’ outta China early. Anyways, Ivan Johnson would probably destroy him in practice which would render him useless in games. This team needs to try and replace Al Horford, not add another Marvin Williams.

 

Los Angeles Clippers

I think this team is the favorite to land K-Mart. They are offering him a $2.5M contract and an exciting cast of talent. Chauncey Billups too is pushing hard for the Clips to add his former teammate, and rightly so. Kenyon may be the one big guy who’ll actually kick the ball out to CB off an offensive board…everybody else on this team only has eyes for CP3. Will Kenyon really play a lot though? The size and toughness of Reggie Evans would arguably be enough to keep him as ‘first big off the bench’. A few more games under his belt and even Trey Thompkins would get more minutes than K-Mart.

 

Miami Heat

If someone asked me to describe Kenyon Martin’s game I would call him a poor man’s Udonis Haslem. How can Pat Riley and Coach ‘Spo’ call this a big addition when it’s just a cheap imitation of something they already have. This squad is better off adding another seven-footer…..or just keep making Eddy Curry run suicides till he’s 250 lbs. Plus, I can’t picture a team that has both Shane Battier and Kenyon Martin on it…the universe would cease to exist.

UPDATE:  (2:12 pm EST) Kenyon Martin has agreed to sign with the Los Angeles Clippers.

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3 Responses to Attention K-Mart Shoppers

  1. Joel Walker on February 3, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Kenyon Martin is a coach killer, just ask George Karl

  2. Kennedy W on February 4, 2012 at 8:06 am

    HAHAHA I can picture Battier n Kenyon talking current events in the locker room.

  3. Jaylin on February 4, 2012 at 8:06 am

    are you a faker fan???

    u clipper hater

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